We are encouraged to take a holistic view of each child we teach. This is a very admirable viewpoint but when you coach 200+ children per week it becomes tricky.
I do endeavour to do this with the gymnasts I work with the most, particularly the ones connected to my own club. This unfortunately means that the children who are part of a large recreational group where I am doing a few weeks sickness cover get little more than a passing thought on what makes them tick. Don’t get me wrong, I give them the best quality coaching that I can – but a one size fits all approach is necessary to ensure everyone gets something out of the lesson.
I have no real difficulty with children who are a bit naughty or cheeky. In fact once you have them fully engaged they are often the most fun to coach. What does make me grit my teeth is wet blankets, if you’ll excuse the term.
My favourite times as a gymnast were when my coach would let us off doing any more beam drills and let us try something way above our skill level like Yurchenko vaults. This wasn’t dangerous because the coach introduces the move using progressions and if they go well we might eventually attempt the complete move with heavy support and matting. I adored doing something new and out of my comfort zone and it gave me a real sense of achievement. Now that I’m the coach, I do the same and the vast majority of my gymnasts love it, or learn to love it when they feel proud of themselves.
Anyway, I have just finished one of these short term contracts yesterday. There was a child in the class who I seemed to not be able to get through to. Even the most basic moves like crawling on the beam or a gentle hang on the bars with me constantly holding her would send her into a panic. Using what I could honestly describe as being just short of forcing her I would eventually get her through the moves. I asked her if she felt proud with herself after she’d done it (yes) and praised her highly, but it didn’t stop the same thing happening when we did the move again.
I was baffled as to what to do for the best. A bit of fear is healthy – it stops a gymnast doing things they truly aren’t ready for – but this was irrational. Plus if you don’t like going upside down and have a problem with generally throwing and knocking yourself a bit then gymnastics is probably not the sport for you. I can understand parents wanting their kids to do it to build confidence, but this has got to be with the agreement of the child, and the child also having the desire to come out of their shell.
I pressed on with this child as best I could, not taking no for an answer but doing my best to reassure her. I don’t like it when children cry and would usually stop at that point but I had to push on or she would have sat out the whole lesson. We continued making painfully slow progress with lots of tears and I constantly questioned whether I was doing the right thing, although gradually a sense of trust began to build.
Yesterday was the last session of term. As a treat I decided to properly take them out of their comfort zone and try some Freestyle, including wall flips. This was just too much for her and despite me promising to keep her safe, the crying started to reach epic levels and I was worried. Just then her mum appeared and I thought I was really for it now. I handed my gymnasts over to the assistant coach to give them their badges for the term’s good work and went to speak to her.
I got the first word in. “I don’t like to give her the option to opt out, but you know your child better than I do – should we do it?”
Mum was actually very polite “I agree with your ideas but I think she has done enough today”.
“That’s fine by me, aside from that she has done brilliantly this term”
As her daughter collected her badge the mum suddenly burst into tears herself. Uh-oh, I thought, now this is really awkward. “I’m sorry” she said “but her Dad died five years ago tomorrow”.
I hadn’t seen that coming. Mum had a cry on my shoulder and said she knew that she was overprotective of her child but she couldn’t help it. Her daughter wouldn’t even go to the park as she was scared to go on anything and at that point Mum had decided that gymnastics might be the solution. “It’s been so hard for her, and so hard for me watching her, but I think now we’ve got to do this”
I can’t imagine what this family go through at this time of year. I find it fairly easy to let my daughter be daring, but for this mother it must be immeasurably hard. I hope the daughter learned something from me, but I learned from her that there can be much more than meets the eye when children are scared of moves, and all achievement is relative.
After a very challenging year coaching-wise this was just what I needed to restore my faith.
Happy Christmas everyone!
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